Happiness is a choice

This is definitely an idea that i’ve come back to again and again, our own happiness happens within our decisions. And im sure as you guys have seen i’ve been repeating this quote almost just too many times. But infact these past few days have been a proof of what i meant. WE choose what we want to feel, we chose how we want to see things. A few days ago i realized my sister and my mom were leaving within just a wrinkle of time and i went down to panic mode. All i could think of was the fear of being thrown all alone in this foreign country oceans away from family. Did i really choose this? but the answer was yes indeed i chose this, but at the time i completely couldn’t recall why i would do this to myself. The whole idea of this fear happens just when you are caught up in the moment, but do not let this moment define how you are going to walk your journey. The real me was the one who decided to go to Seattle and further her education, the real me was the one took  this goal to heart and worked her ass off to achieve it, and i wouldn’t let this moment of fear define me. So i chose to go back to the me that dreamed of being here in Seattle and i looked into her heart and saw that despite having to be oceans away from her loved ones she held it down and decided to stay in Seattle and broaden her horizons. And gradually i reached my own happiness. 🙂

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A place is only as beautiful as the people

This is one idea that i never cease to conclude with. Upon the arrival in Brunei three years ago, i wasn’t impressed by any bit of it. From the absent looking airport to the sweating weather, i disliked every ounce of it. I looked at my new life  back then with horror and avoidance, it was almost as if i developed a discrimination towards my new journey. But nobody knew that at the end of this journey i almost couldn’t bare to leave this land i once found miserable. The key to this was the wonderful people i met through the journey, i made friendships that would last a life time, i saw things that would print deeply into my mind and had experiences that would stick to me for lifetimes. At the last day of my stay in brunei, i found myself absorbing in the every scent of every place, feeling the moments of a humid morning and shivering to the overly powerful air-con, soaking in the morning sun just because this experience was exclusively made for southeast asian weather. Everything i hated initially became something i treasured deeply, all the kind faces and the friendly nods become snapshots of memory i place close to my heart, and as cheesy and everything sounds its all very true to my heart. 

 

And now upon the arrival of my much anticipated Seattle dream, the beauty began to fade into impressions of the people i met. Despite the beautiful scenery and weather, everything crumbles down into what people are like here. And despite knowing how wonderful this journey will end up to be, i feel something missing… my pocket full of people i love that i wish i could bring everywhere with me. 

At the same time i know that it is these moments that teaches me to appreciate. I have such a wonderful life, i surround myself with such wonderful people, theres honestly nothing more i can ask for 🙂

Reflecting this journey

Today has been a day that i’ve dreamed of so many times, and to have the opportunity to live this dream is more than a luxury. Yes readers, today i’ve finally arrived in the emerald city Seattle! To live here for the next four years of my life and attend the University of Washington was a goal i set for myself two years ago, every time i felt crushed or hopeless, i turn to this dream and it engines my thrive to get back up and keep fighting.

During the last two years of my highschool period, i struggled with bad teachers and disorganized curriculum and systems, i faced the challenge of changing schools and environment. Without a doubt it sucked, but at every low point of my life i looked at my dream, and how these challenged added value and meaning to achieving this dream, i began to see these challenges as a stepping stone for my own personal growth. Along the way i experienced things i never expected but i was also built to be a stronger and independent person that i never expected myself to become. 

Sometimes life throws a bunch of challenges at you that comes off as meaningless and unfair at first, but the value of these challenges are within your decision. An important lesson i learned is that happiness is a choice, your personality decides your destiny more than anything. People often reject the idea that destiny is within your own control and your own hands, but that is due to a wrong perspective that people chose , everything is a matter of decision and perspectives, there are pros and cons to everything, and its YOUR choice which side of the argument you want to magnify and THAT determines your happiness and destiny.

Living with this idea has made me a much happier person. And with prior to any happiness is a dream, without dreams we are just human robots. My dream is what brought me to where i am today, and upon achieving one of the biggest dream i’ve ever dreamt of  i am on a journey to dream a new one! Theres only ever one rule in this idea, that is never be afraid to dream BIG! So what you are you dreaming of today?

Pressure creeping back

Like i expected it’d be, my summer before college was a  bliss and way too long for my own good, in some sense i guess my summer began on the 23rd of march when i got my college acceptance. I dont even know how i am going to snap back into the nerd mode. 

After re-examining my freshmen courses i realized i’d have to take accounting…how sweet a subject that is… Its a common misconception for seniors that once they get their acceptance letters to their dream university, everything will fall into sleep and everything will be an easy piece of cake afterwards….

 yeah, hell to the no.

i mean, sure with college comes a load of freedom, but in some sense the transition is crazy and theres an amount of independence and self discipline required . no more spoon feeding or any sorts of that. I dont know about you, but in my opinion it sure makes the whole freedom thing a high price to pay. In all honesty, that acceptance letter is your golden ticket to a world that will be full of even more pressure and stress and anything you’ve ever experienced before (nothing ever gets easier, trust me) and if you keep a hold of yourself you might just loose yourself in the mess. But dont despair, like every other situation in life, theres always going to be pros and cons about everything. 

Pressure is actually an essential aspect to our lives, with pressure we thrive for better. The thirst for knowledge is built within our systems, its an human instinct ! Its those artificial things that are created in our modern world in attempt to make our lives ‘easier’ that actually make us lazy creatures and inhibits our thrive and thirst. 

 

so lets put this pressure into good use, its always a choice isn’t it? Turn the pressure into a engine to thrive for the best! good luck m lovelies 🙂

 

Best friends?

Today i went on a much anticipated trip with my best friend vivian to the cinema, and after a whole day of movie, cheap food , rain and alot of walking i came to a conclusion as to what a best friend is to me.
I love the feeling of never running out of topics to talk about, when you dont even need to think about what to say next, it just comes flowing out of your mouth like running water. You could be doing the simplest things like eating fried chicken on the stairway out in the streets! (which is exactly what we did today…along with two cups of fruit tea) To be honest, the difference between a lover and a best friend is basically that romance touch. Dont you think?

Today in general was just too awesome! Here have a look at my outfit of the day! (excuse my totaly random transition)
O.O.T.D

and this beautiful piece of wrapping paper that i plan to decorate my dorm with !

Contemplations

I think my biggest problem is i think to much, although some of my close friends may say the opposite and i admit its partially my fault they think that way as i often think in the wrong direction. BUT ANYWAYS!
You know those half an hour before you fall asleep nights? Well my half an hour can keep me up for 2-3 hours instead! And the more i think the more awake i become (sometimes i wish this would apply to my education aswell..) Its like the meme that says “Brain can u shut up and let me sleep?”.

Well i think alot, and they are all so very random. This isn’t going to be a post about anything, infact im staying up at 1:55 am on this quiet night listening to my sister’s snoring. This post is literally just an outlet for my insomnia.

1. I am thinking about what haircut to get, any of my friend would’ve realized this has been a problem bugging me since 2 months ago! (no kidding) I am not kidding when i say hair is my second life, i think its an expression of who i am. Bangs? or no bangs? it really makes a difference. Most of all, my hair right now has taken me exactly two years to grow, like any sensitive young woman would be, we have established a good relationship between my hair and i! Cutting it off seems like a very selfish move towards my hair!

2. What will my hair look after i dye it pink! Yes ladies and gentlemen, this naive little 18 year old (not so little actually…legal in fact) is dying her hair PINK! you only live once right (yolo..haha) ? Its not like i can dye my hair pink when i intern for a job right? soo nows the right time anyways. But i feel a bit like a wanna be hipster? and thats a bit yucky…ohwell

3. How the hell am i going to wake up at 9 tomorrow considering that i only have 7 hours left to sleep and my usual routine like more like 12 hours of sleep a day..

4. How am i going to spend my last 2020 NT dollars for my last 7 days of taiwan? Theres absolutely just too many things i want to buy

5. Hey! my thinking bubbles are reducing! I think this is a great exercise to do when you are having trouble falling asleep! now i dont even know what to think about since its all down!

6. PS: oh i forgot to think about College, probably the biggest highlight in my life right now! I want to get cute bedding for my dorm..hmph OH and i am exteremly worried whether my roommate will like me.

Okay thats about it on this contemplation post. Dear readers (to whomever you may be) , thank you for sparing your time to listen to this meaningless yet intriguing post! I shall talk to you guys soon!

PS: wow i forgot to mention, tomorrow i will be watching the fierce wife move version AGAIN with my friend vivian! Have YOU gotten your movie tickets yet? hehe